creative freedom

i am working towards creative freedom, as a means of survival.

i wrote this in my journal this morning, after i pulled myself out of bed to workout (which has become easier, now that i have a running record of going every tuesday to this class. i actually felt a little proud, and so worked out especially hard this morning. back pat.) anyway, i treated myself to my favorite cafe ( and made the second healthy choice of the day by getting fruit and granola instead of the million other AMAZING pastries there. i am not someone who likes to deny herself anything my heart desires in the day to day. i'm all about the in the moment appeasement and satisfaction. but it turned out, i was in the mood to keep the healthy choices rolling. and then!! instead of playing on my phone -- i journaled. see? (i just had to instagram it reallllly quick.)

i'm seriously digressing from a really important point.

which is, this:

i have been trying to figure out what my next step is, what my next BIG MOVE is, where i can fuse all my passions into a "successful career" and to ask myself/figure out what it is that i REALLY WANT. what am i working towards? what do i want to achieve?

and i wrote:

i am working my way to creative freedom as a means of survival. this means i want to continue inviting in the opportunities that inspire me -- no, that light me on fire. i want to place more value in my time, so that i am spending that very precious currency on my work or the things that feed my work. i want everything that i invest my time in to be positive, creative and use my artistic brain to its full advantage. actually, it must require MY personal vision and MY very own touch.

i don't know yet (and i don't need to know yet) what hodgepodge of work that might turn out to be but i DO know that those requirements will lead me to what i want. CREATIVE FREEDOM and eventually, i will make my living from it. by already starting to make those choices and life changes in the past few weeks, i have felt when my heart is pure, how i am the happiest and how much power creative freedom has over the unnecessary pressure and useless stress. eventually -- something's gotta give. it will give.

well, hi tuesday. how are you? talk about an overload of healthy choices. who is this girl? someone get me a margarita, stat. :)

and also, read this really great article that my good friend mike sent me, which only echoes some of the sentiments i shared above:




ps. #thisisthebeginningofanythingyouwant

may your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. i hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art - write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. and i hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.
— neil gaiman